Welcome, one and all, to the one-time only, in depth tour of the elaborate inner workings of Julia Venditti's frightening mind - Make no mistake, what you are about to see will astound and amaze you. Things you will witness on this tour may seem nonsensical and will most likely have no comprehensible value whatsoever.
My name is Sage DosSantos, and I will be your tour guide for this evening. Please keep all appendages inside the vehicle at all times, as chains and other restraints have proven unreliable.
The only reliable, physical restriction one will see on this tour, can be found just around this turn. On your left, you will see a grouping of fairly large-sized steel boxes or crates. Inside these boxes are well, put simply, people. These people include: myself, Rebecca Evans, several of Julia's family members, several 'prospects' (who will not be named for confidentiality reasons), and many others. Unfortunately for them, those boxes will never be opened.
Moving on! Oh! Watch your heads! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was a flying monkey, one of several you will see throughout the night. In fact, I believe we just got a new shipment this morning! I heard the young man in the back mention something about this impeccable darkness. Well, Julia never was that bright of a girl, so one cannot possibly expect her mind to be any different.
This, my friends, is where the snitch is kept. If we all stay perfectly quiet we may get a glimpse of this mystical creature. Look! There, you can spot a bit of a gold sheen and one of those gorgeous wings! If you look carefully. . .Oh! Damn those flying monkeys! Well, I'm happy enough we got to see it at all! Oh look here, we are coming up on the quidditch field, the last of our drop offs. I am going to be honest, I've been in here for quite a while, and I still don't quite understand the basics of the game. . . I know the bludgers are charmed to beat the living shit out of the players, the quaffle is the one that you shoot through the goal posts, and the seeker has to catch the snitch, which is an actual living creature. That's about all I know.
So, that is the end of our tour, please purchase something from our gift shop. But, before you leave, please take notice as to the complete lack of sanity in the events of this night. Perhaps, after your experiences here, your understanding of JK Venditti may have evolved and grown. Thank you and have a good night!!