Monday, April 28, 2008
Yes, I'm aware.
Too bad for the rest of you who have yet to reach said conclusion.
There is a certain point in which one begins to recognize the deep inescapable depression that is life. Now, this is not to say that one is depressed, only that life IS depression, and one's own personal sanity is dependant on the outlook with which one views it. There are three lenses through which life can be viewed - impartially, optimistically, or pessimistically. Of course one would think that the optimistic will lead the best, most providential lives of the three. This assumption is awful and, more often than not, will bring about inauspicious results. If one always anticipates the best out of life, one will often be disappointed. It is rather obvious that a pessimistic outlook can only be detrimental to one's experience throughout life. However, it is more likely to have one's expectations exceeded with such a view. Whereas, if one goes through life with an impartial view on life's numerous and varied occurrences, one will never be disappointed with the often negative outcome. In conclusion, I recommend to live one's life with little, if any prospects, and therefore, never feel the heavy depression that is pressing down on us all...
More often than not, they cause incomprehensible amounts of pain, and can even destroy friendships. Unfortunately for most, the triviality of such issues is not realized until it is far too late.
Not until one has caused irreconcilable damages does one realize the stupidity of her actions. To let a boy come between two best friends, is to destroy a wonderful relationship for one with little respect that will end dramatically soon enough. Is the destined friendship between two girls really worth the insignificant relationship of a boyfriend?
It hurts like a son of a bitch.
To feel inadequate, inferior, or less-than, so to speak, is arguably the worst pain that exists. Or at least in the top five worst. It’s a blow to one’s ego to the umpteenth degree. It spawns many pains. It’s the granddaddy of feelings of shittiness, for lack of a better word. Strike that; shittiness is a fine word. It fulfills the requirements of the negative feelings I was trying to portray. It’s what the Spanish call una maldición, granted… but it’s fine. Just fine.
Anyway, why does one strive to be a better person? What is the motivation behind one’s gumption? And, on that note, who defines what kind of person you are as compared to the “better” one they’d like to see you be? Maybe I’m just fine. Maybe you’re just fine. Maybe, just maybe, we’re all just fine, as we are. Maybe we shouldn’t change a damn thing. It’s fine. Just fine.
But it’s not really all fine, is it? And furthermore, who really wants everything to be fine? Wouldn’t they rather it all to be great? Fine is better than crappy, great is better than fine… if I recall the scale of quality correctly.
Are you running when you change? What are you running from?
This pisses everyone off when provided for a reason that people have parted ways. But it shouldn’t. If right now, at the age of sixteen, I didn’t change for the rest of my life… well, that would be terrible. I don’t think I’ve got it all figured out now and nor do I pretend to. I want to change, I need to change. And always keep changing.
But, to battle with semantics, “you’ve changed,” still isn’t fair. No, I did not change. No, you did not change. We’re growing up and finding ourselves. We’ve all been a little lost, and now we have to try to be a little found. Just a little, not completely. Unless I die tomorrow, which I very well may do if I’m unwittingly standing in front of a bus or crushed by something larger and stronger than I am, I’ve got time to be found. Not all at once, but not all for later, either. That’s life, baby.
I’m combating so many things as a relatively young girl. I’m combating the conformity, gossip, self-indulgence, selfishness, catty trivialities, cruelty, gluttony, laziness, temptation, media, lust, greed, envy, pride, humility, and so much more. And I’m not the only one battling these vices of teenage years and beyond; we all are. Whether cognitive or not, we are always on the verge of loosing the small bit of ourselves we have; and some people give in. Many do.
The sad part is that we are both the predators and the prey. At the exact same time that we loose ourselves, we steal bits of other people. I’m not talking about taking peer characteristics and adopting them as your own. I mean to say that we are the reason we loose ourselves and each other. We contribute to the vortex of misery; often just by being miserable ourselves. It’s unintentional, yes. But it still exists just as much as it would were if cognizant. We all kill each other. We’re all to blame.
Seven Deadly Sins:
Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, PrideSeven Virtues, which correspond (respectively) inversely to each of the Seven Deadly Sins:
Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Patience, Kindness, Humility
It is a battle of good virtues and evil vices. I think that we’re fighting a losing battle, but that apparently didn’t stop the Spartans, huh?
Monday, April 14, 2008
People who don’t have a life begin to speculate about your exciting one. *Whisper, whisper* and BOOM. It sucks. The thing is, I don’t think people know the possible repercussions of their words. Thus they are not weighed and evaluated.
A teensy bit of consideration for others, mixed in with self-restraint, could prevent so many unnecessary hurt feelings and disastrous situations.
And the real problem is that when you confront this gossiping lowlife in the nicest way that you can confront a gossiping low life, they get defensive! It’s like, “how dare you (headbutt) ask me not to spread rumors about you!” Top defensive reason used, “well, it’s just my opinion.” Now, that one disgusts me. I’m glad you speculate about my personal life, but you’re opinion in this matter is both unwarranted and not subject to interpretation. You have formed your opinion about something that is a fact. I really can’t stand that. But, this is high school. I guess that’s just something I’ll have to deal with. Damn.
High school, though it is... if you’re reading this post, please try to understand what I’ve said. Don’t participate in gossip. It’s a nasty biz.
Just a bit of learned wisdom.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Who ever sits there and says, “I hope they see me as a really sane, stable, and wholesome person,” to themselves? Some of these qualities are fine incorporated in some aspects of life. But, if this is why someone likes you then I have bad news. You’re an average person and so is the person who loves this mediocrity in you. Does anyone genuinely desire to be average? No. So, yeah, I’m crazy. And thank God.
But when I say I’m crazy, what really do I mean? That I am a danger to society and should be committed and monitored? This may be so, but no, this isn’t what I mean. That I am a reckless asshole who is known for partying like it’s 1999 and driving 80 miles per hour down Elm? Although this also may be true on occasion, let’s rule this one out. A time saving description of my kind of crazy is: “Julia.” I am crazy because, literally, it’s unknown to even me what Julia might say/do/be next.
I’ll tell you exactly what I am. I’m:
Case in point.
P.S., John Beckwith says, "When it stops being fun, break something." I agree so greatly.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself, and start this as a proper relationship should begin:
My name is Sage DosSantos, and my poor defenseless mind has been corrupted and distorted by my best friend in this whole Goddamned world, Julia Venditti.
Those who know us girls, consider us abnormal. But what does "normal" really mean anyway? Who decides what is the norm in any situation? "In a mad world only the mad are sane." -Akira Kurosawa - A quote that Julia uses to justify her lack of sanity. I like being a little strange sometimes, and hopefully you will enjoy it as well.
I have several life-crippling OCD's.
I have unnatural obsessions with Julie Andrews and Johnny Depp.
I love to sing, and I'm pretty damn good if I do say so myself.
There is no way i can predict what you might read from me on here:
Sometimes you may see sophisticated, well thought out commentaries on anything you can think of, or rather, anything I can think of.Other times you may read incomprehensible rantings about the events of the previous day, or the day to come.
I admit, my imagination is not as far-fetched and completely nonsensical as Rebecca and Julia's are, but I hope you enjoy my rantings anyway.I am kind of a shy person, and i hope this blog will help me open up and let you all see that I am just as much of a nut as Julia!
The Three of us make no sense together, but it wouldn't make sense any other way<3
I love you girls, and I know all of you will fall in love with us too.
My name is Julia Kathryn Domenica Borelli Russo DelRusso Agnelli Venditti.
You can call me Julia.
Or don’t. It’s your call, really.
Before we go any further, there are a few things you should know about me:
- I love Harry Potter
- Orchid is my favorite color, followed by Crimson/Scarlet and Cerulean
- I detest catty drama and cruel people
- My Patronus and Animagus forms would be a Phoenix
- I play guitar, fence, and appreciate quality music
Glad that’s covered. Now for the more important matters…
I’ve started this blog with two of my friends, Sage and Rebecca, because I feel not altogether understood as a person. I also rather fancy the idea of having a public outlet for my absurdities.
Now, when I say I’m misunderstood, it is not with disgust. I am a complex being. There is no guide I follow and I have problems with authority, in general. Julia wasn’t designed to be gotten, not even by herself.
But, similarly, I want to give people a taste… then perhaps the fact that I don’t make sense will be less foreign and intimidating. This blog is a look at my life. Everyone’s invited.